The Year Phil Massaged Linda
Year: 2003 8th Annual
Organizers: Vogel, Tate, Tina, Hale
Locations: F-House 2233 14th St. (Friday and Saturday)
Friday Night Party: Trashgiving – Make Out!
Saturday Hat Games:
Teams: Strong Bad, The Poopsmith, Trogdor The Burninator, Marzipan
Saturday Skilz Competition:
Throw for Distance: ?
Throw Run Catch: ?
Saturday Alumni Challenge Game: Old Doods 15 – Currents 4
2003 was a good year. I played the most this year. Hence the score of 4 for the currents. Hat games were pretty narsty. I recall winning here, but not positive. The party was pretty good with lots of debauch. Blow pong epicness ensued. Lots of turtle drinking and BP. Saturday night was Hales 40s smash. We had a delicious dinner and lots and lots of wine at FHouse potluck style kinda w/ lots of cooking. Frick/ shcliffer love wine a lot. Purple mouths had by all. Im tired… thus endeth 2003.
Famous Quotes and Trash Talk before F-Giving
I think my favorite frisbee thanksgiving happened in some serious snow back in
1997... Can we bring Cory back to stand on the sidelines and throw snowballs at
Brandon while he plays again?
It has only been early more recently. A few years ago, someone got the
brilliant idea of entering an RPI alumni team in the RPI home tourny, so
they lumped all that together. Prior to that, it had always been later
(well, always since I started going). Anyway, I'm with Jim. Whenever Steets
can't make it.
And one other thing: I've heard the young doods have won a grand total of
ZERO games so far this season.
Stellar. Braaaavo. Hats off to you.
In fact, I heard they pathetically haven't even scored a single fruckin'
Don't expect those statistics to change Thanksgiving weekend, dickwads...
Oh, and one last thing: if you queers really change the name of your team
from 'TRUDGE' to 'DIRTY DOGS', ... then I'm gonna.... well, i swear
Frick. I can't even talk, that's such a retahded idea.
Teenage suicide: don't do it.
I'd like to point out the fact that we have not been scored on even ONCE this
season. Our strategy this fall is IMPENETRABLE D. now if you old folks
think you have the stamina to make it to 15 points against us, go for it -
just don't expect any sympathy from us when you're all limp and swollen.
Nothing says Happy Birthday like watching Tate running around naked.
ben, think of the senioritas
vog, arent you at the point in your life yet where you can say fuck you, i
dont wanna go to your stupid conference? or is something else going on man?
is this that the weekend you meet your girlfriend from the internet?
seriously though, Ive never heard of a mandatory convention... youre a phd
for gods sake you should be able to prioritize by now... the answer my
friend is blowing off that conference...
of course if it were that easy you wouldnt be wasting our time with such
emails would you?
i hate hate hate to see anyone left out of the fun, and i wouldnt want to be
the one burdened with making the final decision of who comes and who doesnt
but werent both jess and alicia absent from last years festivities? how
much would it suck to see them missing two years in a row?
but barring a change of priority with the four parties involved, i think we
should have a revote of sorts. i dont know if witchs teat is a go for this
year, but id be prety into getting an alumni team together and forgoing the
whole "thanskgiving" tag and just having a fall tourney/get
the whole plan of course hangs on the idea that we will have a revote,
include october dates (is there a tourney scheduled, upa doesnt have any
listed), and thanks to all of that good karma ive been acruing over the
internet, everyone will be able to make it.
if we cant make this happen without anyone being left out, id hate to think
that there was a simple solution out there somewhere we overlooked through
Its been decided...the official weekend for Thanksgiving this year is
So, mark your calendars, get plane tickets, do whatever you have to do.
...just be ready to have you old arses kicked by a young, hot and skilled
college ultimate team!!!!
Can't wait - until later,
May the festivities begin:
...just be ready to have you old arses kicked by a young, hot and skilled
college ultimate team!!!!
get ready to have your young ass f-ed by shiveled old d.
get ready to have your de f-ed by a-l-u-m-n-i.
get ready to have your o f-ed by the VD I just gave thee.
Old people are so cute when they think they can still do the things they could 70 or 80 years ago. Like crap by yourselves. Prepare to be re-educated old has-dudes.
… “The Beast” Ganz
Keep up the good work, Mr. Beast. Your emails are both clever and poignant and
continue to demonstrate your deft comedic ability. I'm in debt to you for all of
the laughter you've brought me throughout your many, many years of undergrad.
p.s. I found terry - terry.helwig@... - it's him. he's in DC. swear
to god. he already emailed me back. I win. Eat my ass, nerds.
No, No, No, we have none of that¡Äbut we do have a fresh batch of untimely losers (That would be you old dudes). Youth always wins against age similar to how good always wins against evil. Prepare to run the gauntlet of pain and realize that your old shriveled arses can¡Çt keep up with even the slowest of us youth¡Çs.
¡Ä¡ÉThe Beast¡É Ganz
P.S. I did talk to the hospital and they will let us borrow a few oxygen tanks, but there wont be enough for all you old people so you are going to have to bring your own.
I think you watch too many movies. In real life, the evil guys win,
because they've got corrupt cops on the payroll, corrupt politicians in
the government, and an apathetic population. Similarly, dispite your
attempted revisions, the history books show a long era of old dude
victories. Apparently zen like mastery of rule abuse, drunken mastery of
breakmark throws, and a plethora of subtle fouls and trash talk make the
Vogels of the world the pinnacle of ultimate athleticism.
In case you were wondering, assholes... yeah, that's me in the fiery
yellow shirt. That's right, #47 is outrunning the shit out of that guy
with grey hair. That's Ed. He's in his 40's, definitely pushing 50, and
he's never played a competitive game of ultimate in his life. And
that's me, taking him to bitch-town during our daily lunch time
ultimate game at Cognex. I've got to be at least 5 yards ahead of
that idiot. What the camera doesn't show is the total nerd behind the
camera that thought it would be a neat idea to capture in digital
glory the daily lunchtime hack-ass ultimate game. What the camera also
doesn't show is that I "disc-licked" Ed after tooling him. That's
right. I somehow thought this would be a humorously grand idea and
swiped that disc right down his old, wrinkled body and/or sweaty balls.
The camera also failed to capture how fucking awesomely pissed he got
at that . He yelled something about this being a lunch-time frisbee
game and maybe how I shouldn't be such an "ass-wipe" all the time. He
then stormed inside.
There happens to be a whiteboard outside the locker room at Cognex. I
guess it's incase you have some brilliant idea while working out or
something and need to diagram it. Evidently Ed had a brilliant idea
while working out, because he used it. He wrote "SPIRIT OF THE GAME,
DICK" in big, red, capital letters. There wasn't really any indication
as to whom that was directed at, but, man, I hope it wasn't me.
Too bad there's no whiteboard outside the locker room in the new
frisbee house for you to vent your rage after the events that will
transpire on November 15th, you current RPI team of nubile and/or
Tate "Obviously the 'DICK' that kicks so much fucking lunch-time ass,
it's really awesome" Allen
p.s. I'm going to do 10 pushups tonight and make muscles in the mirror.
Do you young doods even have a mirror? Or muscles?
When I picture transporting creeeg, I see the opening
scene of jurassic park where they have that giant
cage, and the thing inside is going nuts. Then one
poor guy gets too close and gets pulled in and ripped
to shreds. Good luck marc.
There's nothing like the adrenaline rush that comes
from opening an attachement called homo erotic
triangle in work...nothing.
Hey now, hairy isn't really so scary.
It's better your man be 'bear'-y than a fairy.
You don't have to eat his hairy dairy for him to pop your cherry.
And there's no need to be very wary, or make your man go 'Nair'-y,
cuz in the end, it'll be a hairy Gary or Larry that you'll marry.
eat that, chung.
Retort retorts are simply a bore
They baffle my mind and make my bum sore
Hairy, scary, beary, fairy, nairy, galore
Popping a cherry's a good way to score
Marry, now there's a deep thought of yore
I think i'll stick with cherries...more more more
yeahdood. I'll prolly be 'round... like a donut.
sweet. we'll get totally hammered.
I'm kidding. I don't drink anymore.
call me when you get in on my new phone - 617-XXX-XXXX
or alternately - 1-800-better-than-vogel
i know it's more than 7 digits, but more is betta.
I wrote a poem too.
It's almost as good as jeffs.
It's almost frisbee time
It's almost frisbee time
It only costs one dime
to get your hinny shined
by Dr. Frankenstien
suck my balls.
If you enjoy spankings that much, then yes, do come to thanksgiving with a
pale ready to be spanked ass. Cause it is going to get a beat down. That’s
right old folks, feel the burn. I hope all you old dudes show up so we could
then, without a doubt, tread on
Jonathan "The Beast" Ganz
P.S. the old dude and young dude heckling shit has sucked this year. You old
dudes are lazier now then ever.
Sucks that we're "lazier than ever" and yet can kick your asses without trying. Must be a morale killer for ya.
Fuckers Fuckers Fuckers
the day of reckoning is almost upon us.
Please scan the list below. I'm sure I've made at least 1 mistake. If
your name is not on this list, you will not be put on a team for
round robin (or fridays beer-olympics) and will be forced to sit there
in the corner with your thumb up your butt. Please let me know if you
should be on this list... or if your on it and should not be. A *
denotes either that you have a big shlong/rack and/or you're bringing a
Are you really not coming reed? That's the single most disappointing
thing I've heard in a while. Do something about my disappointment.
Neal, you too. WTF? Did you find a flight, you sirry asian plick? Yeah,
that's right, hop on a plane and come kick my ass.
M to the Mutha Fuggin E, that's ME
Joe "Trogdor" Chapman
D'Alicia "Done" Dunne
Megs "The Burninator" Gearyhale
Jim "I'm tired of thinking of nicknames" Holmes
Nichole "Nicky6" Koskowski
That's it. If you didn't read your name, I'm not putting you on a team,
so shot me a wad of an email to tell me otherwise.
GREG SANDA WILL MAKE YOU RICH
Have you been injured on the job? Has someone you know and love been
hurt while performing a task they shouldn't have been performing? Have
you been in an ambulance in the past 3 days?
Have no fear, Greg Sanda passed his bar exam.
Many of you know Greg Sanda, who played many years for Zoodisc and GW
Ultimate. Mr. Sanda recently passed the Massachusetts Bar Exam. Greg
Sanda has touched many of us in different ways, and the ways he has
touched your girlfriends is far greater in number. Currently, he plays
for Twisted Metal out of Boston.
In addition, Greg hopes that with this rite of passage he will find a
renewed confidence and ultimate land himself in the running for top 5
Best Looking on Twisted Metal - a list that will be unveiled sometime
in early January. Stay tuned, and God Bless.
Way to go Thumpshow. Please join me in congratulating this man. See
below for a bio:
Name: Greg Sanda
Alter Ego: Craig
Number of my girlfriends he has messed around with: 2, possibly 3.
Heroes: Ron Reagan, Josiah Bartlet
Album he listened to to celebrate: The Outfield's Greatest Hits
Favorite Food: Anything that requires he wears a bib, Coldbeers
Favorite bands: Hall and Oates, Chicago (the early stuff, not the
watered down Peter Cetera stuff), The Smashing Pumpkins
Song he is most scared of: Bugs by Pearl Jam
- "Are you for real?"
- "After the party its the hotel lobby and after the lobby its then
the Hobby Lobby"
- "You gotta have rules, you gotta have discipline"
- Instead of asking yes or no questions, he will say, "yes or not at
Best accomplishments, divided up by eras in his life:
JUNIOR HIGH - Kissed Tess Finch
EARLY HIGH SCHOOL - Hit a homerun off Justin Peters, who is now the
star of The Golf Network's reality show, The Big Break
LATE HIGH SCHOOL - Challenged Amanda Sapir's driving record in front
of the whole school during a class Presidency bid. Some pundits found
this tactic underhanded and out of line, but ultimately this moment
won the election for Mr. Sanda and proved to be the breeding ground
for him challenging a later college election result (It is true that
his opponent, Ms. Fournier, was compaigning in the Dorm Lobby, just
feet from the polling booth, which was clearly illegal - even then,
Greg's sense of justice was acutely honed. This was another election
Greg eventually won.
EARLY COLLEGE @ UMASS - Had a 4.0 GPA his first semester
ABROAD IN AUSTRALIA - Assisted in Founding the Univ. of Wollongong
Ultimate Frisbee team.
LATE COLLEGE @ UMASS - Had stockpiled a brothel of women unmatched in
the long and storied tradition of UMass lore. All types of women
ranging from young coworkers to older Employees of the UMass Dining
facilities were in his grips.
POST GRAD YEARS @ GEORGE WASHINGTON - Nothing important, a dark time
in Greg's life - a time devoid of friendships, memories and/or
ambition. I spent countless hours on the phone with him and sending
him faxes, doing his homework for him and assisting him with whatever
he needed. Some will say this Law degree is as much mine as it is his,
others will not. Some are wrong.
So, that about sums it up. It is in this ultimate community that we
share stories that matter. Greg has always, without question, found
that Spirit of the Game is something that can, and should be, bottled.
He transfers it to everday life. Greg always says SOTG is how we
should all live our lives, usually with tears in his eyes.
As a side note, while writing this, Greg showed up at my house. Keep
in mind, it is my birthday, and Greg lives about 3.5 hours from me, at
least. He showed up unexpected and without invitation, thats Thumper
Take care and God Bless.
he may have just missed the championship, but steeto did make a good
showing of it. as i was sitting around watching finals with the pike boys
at nationals - someone says to me - hey lc - isn't that your boy #1? i
say, yeah - he's my boy. then someone else asks what is the deal with his
upside down backwards visor? what is the point? it clearly doesn't help
block the sun... must be just for style. but a few questioned the style
and attributed it all to stupidity. another guy chips in that "it doesn't
look so stupid when he's skying 3 dudes snatching a disc that he had
absolutely no bizness getting". i tend to agree. i even turned my visor
around and around to try and support a rally... but alas even that was not
enough. nice playing steeto...
keep it on, turn it around
posing in motion.
abstract and yet not (hint: haiku)
i was going to use "style" in there but didn't know
how many syllables: either 'style' or 'sty-yol'
me chinese me play joke me put peepee in your coke.
me american me so smart me no drink the peepee part
please tell my nj brethren that the bkwd upside-down visor is b/c
1) when i wear it fwd it ruins my periferal vision when the disc is up
(which is most of the time when i'm on the field)
2) when i wear it bkwd right-side-up i can't look up b/c the visor part hits
the back of my neck.
hence, bkwd upside-down. very practical, really.
and then remind them that a team from nj that finishes 15th shouldn't be
saying much on the sideline besides, "hey, joey toughnutts, pass me another
Thanks for the shout, linda. Won't be making frisbee t-giving this year though.
You can all split my share of stuffing and eggnog and benny g's delicious squash
that is 90% butter. Pete, can you take care of doling out wildcard drinks
post-feast? FYI to the ladies young and old-- you might want to start
moisturizing your lips overnight. Vogel is looking to make out. He's nice, go
For CA trudge people: In about a month I'm heading to Carlsbad, CA to take
surfing lessons and save endangered species for 5 months. Does anybody live
near there? I have an apartment on the beach that is not only really sweet, but
also totally sweet. Come surf with me; I'll buy you an umbrella drink.
Brandon, I hear your explanation of the upside-down backwards visor and it all
makes sense, but how come you don't just wear a headband. There are some bonus
style points on top off all that practiality, no? Anyway, I dig it.
So, in conclusion:
- see you next year
- really sweet
- totally sweet
- adam tutors nutts
So, I'm in the area, and was wondering what the dealio
is for this weekend. I spend most of my time these
days putting people to sleep, so I'm going to need
some excitement from you RPIers. Obviously I don't
keep up with this group, I don't know what y'all do
all day, but it seems like a lot of you have too much
time on your hands. So, any info would be
appreciated, I know you can't wait to see my smiling
face, and my smart-ass comments.
Welcome. It never gets old. But I've always wondered
about this, and its coming closer and closer: At what
point will the alumni of roughly now to 1998-ish have
inherited enough sucky current players to swing the
balance of power back to the current players? 2005?
2006? BUT, is it possible for the current sucky
players to groom new players good enough to beat them
when the current alumni are also carrying them?
Any Given Saturday (2003)
An aging [ultimate] coach ([Tate Allen]) finds himself struggling with his personal and professional life while struggling to hold his team together. A [series of] star players ([Brandon Steets, etc]) have been knocked out of the game and a [group of] young, naive [ultimate] players ([Jon Fink, etc]) replace them only to become exposed to the world of [drunken debauchery] and become a danger to themselves and to other players. Meanwhile, the coach finds himself constantly at battle with the team owner's money- and power-hungry daughter ([The Union]) intent on moving the team out of [Troy], [as well as his lifelong struggle with not being a pussy on Saturday nights]. Rated: NC-17, for adult language, drug abuse, nudity, [and people peeing on other people].
moira: i saw karen at borders several months ago.
looks like she had a boyfriend: suck.
she said she was going to massage school: kick-ass.
hs: my lips are chapped from playing at rpi this past
jim: remember that jon "the beast" ganz fellow? we played against him this weekend, and i'm sure it's no shock to you that he still sucks (not just at frisbee-- more in an all-encompassing way). anyway, you might want to move up your apocalyptic alumni prediction: he's graduating in a couple of months.
A) Friday night will be an awl day/night thing. The party is at the frisbee
house - where it was last year. 14th street. Right next to the old frisbee
house. Right behind the old old fribee house. If anyone gets stuck at the
airport or is otherwise generaly lost, give me some phonesex at 617-XXX-XXXX.
B) Saturday night will be the same. Current team cooks. Old doods buy the
C) Last weekend some douchebag stole the tournament money from the frisbee house
durring their party. Maybe we can think of a good way to do some fund raising
for them. We can at least start by paying them the tourney fee we owe them... so
you doods that played this weekend, pony up some dough. And maybe we can give
them all pink-bellies to cover the stolen funds.
D) Final details to be worked out tonight.
That's right remember me. I will be all up in that shit come this
Saturday. From the sounds of it, the old dudes are going to be so hung
over that they won't be able to tell their thumbs from their dicks.
please explain... were we not at the same tournament two days ago? did we
not humiliate your "A" team via near-shutout before moving on to crap all
over your B team? and did you not have every single one of your star
players with homefield advantage? and were we not limited to about 6
randomly selected alums on our team? and were we not shotgunning and
chugging beers the whole time? and did we STILL NOT WAIL ON YOUR STINKING
so, are you expecting the synergy of the century when you meld your A's +
pphhhhhtttttttttt... i don't even know why we need to go through this
boring ass-kicking routine a single more time.
and by the way, are you sure you aren't confusing us with yourself, Re: not
being able to tell thumbs from dicks?
cuz i know you've got that problem, since both of yours look and smell like
ass: the thumb from sticking up your own asshole while watching from the
sideline or standing there on "defense", and the dick from packing your
boyfriend's shit the night before.
I was walking the other day and found this pile of girdles right
behind vogels place, so your problem is solved (I hope you all like red
dude, that doesn't make an ounce of fucking sense. please try
harder. much harder.
and while you're at it, please try to fail some classes for the next few
Vogel in response to Ganz Ouch
Old doods. I thought of a jersey this weekend for us. It's "simple.
brilliant." Take a light shirt. One that you don't want anymore. Take a
big black magic marker and sniff it. Then write your last name across
the back. Then put your favorite number in the number place. Then on
the front write "Old Doods" on top and, in the middle, write "8-0". And
you'll think, "But wait. This Thanksgiving will be the 8th annual.
Tate, what gives?" And then it will dawn on you.
It's a little hodgepodge with people getting in at random times.
There's a hockey game @ 7pm. I know some doods were planning on going
to that. Again if anyone needs a ride somewhere or is otherwise lost,
give me phonesex: 617-488-9894. Or give the frisbee house a call at
(someone fill in this blank).
"The Party" is on Friday Night at the frisbee house. Drinking
competitions will begin at 10pm sharp (yeah right). When teams are
needed, they are the same as your round robin team.
Competition will include
-Team yacht race to determine the seedings of the round robin
-Extreme Turtle Style Drinking. We'll be finding the champion from each
team and those champions will compete head to head to determine the
-Peeing for hight. See if anyone has the urinary fortitude to challenge
Nick "The Citizen" Kane's record.
-2 gaming tables will be set up for blow pong and other de-lites.
Frisbee Golf #1 will take place Friday after midnight. This is the
Pete Hale is in charge of making some sweet-ass trophies for various
events. There's no rhyme or reason to which events get trophies, but
that might add to the zaniness.
9:00 - 2:00 Hat tourney and SKILZ Competition on the football
practice field near the E dorms
2:00 Final game: Young vs Old (game to 15)
7:00 Dinner and party (Frisbee house) (Alums, be prepared to
donate some cash to the funds)
9:00 Edward 40-Hands begins. Grab 2 of your favorite
40oz's and some tape to compete.
Frisbee Golf #2 will take place Saturday after midnight. This is the
round that counts. Who's got the official green jacket? You need to
bring it to put it on the line.
10am 50yd and 100yd dash between Sanda and Tate on the main football
field in the middle of campus. Tate is still searching for something
that he's better than Sanda at, besides driving stick-shift and
taste-in-music. Hopefully this will be it.
tate, whoever the fuck Johnie W, Seth Bard, Jake, Jeremy Kauman, and Jessica
Seeger are, youre so gona lose honky. weve got by far the most bad ass
bettys. weve got the tall man. weve got hariest homie. weve got dave
ross. its not a toss up. its not a rock paper spaeth. it marzipan...
all... the... (motherfuking) way.
and im not jsut talking about the drinking games
and im not just talking about the skillz competition
and im not just talking out of my ass
im talking about ultmiate fris b
motherfuckers... can you handle this?
I guess I'll field this one
Warren... are you crapping on my face?
This is just like 4th grade recess kick-ball when Amy Schialdone and Colleen
Pickwick declared themselves a "package" so that they would be guaranteed to be
on the same team. And I'll let you in on a little secrete, Warren, because maybe
you missed the 4th grade or something: everyone detested that move because it
just threw off the natural balance of things. But unlike Amy and Colleen,
no-one wants to smooch you, Warren, so shit like that just doesn't fly.
I haven't decided what to do with late-comers like yourself yet. I think I might
tie it into the drinking games somehow. Perhaps a few team boat races to compete
for the teamless. For some reason I'm guessing Tom is going to just show up too.
So he'll be auctioned off as well.
As far as you go Dr. Sanda,
A) if we put my top 10 favorite bands and your top 10 favorite bands against
each other in Tekken Battle Mode style, you'd have to use up your top 4 bands,
just to get through my top 1. I could then lazily just go 1 for 1 for a while,
until we got to your top 7. And then you might make a good showing, maybe even
knocking off 3 of mine. Maybe you'd even break me down to my last guy. But then
you would shit the bed as you realize that #10 on my list Danzig. And not
because I like his music all that much, but more because he comes in super-handy
in situations like this and has all the moves and power of Jack-2. YOU ARE SO
B) Dood, seriously, think about it. While Neal Young could probably hold his own
for a while, Gordon Lightfoot and some of your crappy 80's bands would get torn
to shreds by Danzig-2's cross cutter. Not to mention that fucking double fisted
upper-cut. BOOM! I REITERATE YOUR EFFEDNESS!
Anyone driving up from around the nyc metro area on
friday, i would much appreciate a ride. i am willing
to meet anywhere. please dont make me take public
transportation as i am afraid that there will be dogs
that may sniff out the baloons of heroine in my
if i do have to take the train, can someone get me at
the station on friday night?
A solution to the dilution:
To graduate from the B-rated UF u must pass The Ultimate School of RUF.
Everyone is graded in two sectors:
-Contribution to game winning
-Contribution to party winning
So kiddies, start taking notes. This weekend is a big test. Here is a
hint for passing the examination. Don't bother with going to the fields
this week, you have no hope for game winning, so you will not pass there.
YOUR ONLY HOPE IS TO TRY AND WIN THE PARTY! Or at least make a
Also Warren, why come back if the only thing you want to do is play with
so this is a hat tourney? I never realized that I would get a chance
to shit on Tate's face; otherwise I definitely would have been here
before. I figured since you guys were railing on the 98-02 alumni
you'd put them on one team and watch as they kicked all your asses.
I guess you guys were just scared of the unstoppable combo of ruiz,
myself and rowan. Our squad would run Tate's pussy aging body into
oblivion. At this point I'm pretty sure that all the old folks won't
be able to keep up cause their wheelchairs don't work on grass.
Besides, it's hard to pick up 4th grade girls in wheelchairs
especially if you can't even remember where the playground is. I
mean you've already forgotten how bad you are.
Its nice to hear that you guys finally managed to keep the spaeths
out of here. Now all you need to do is work on petey, who doesn't
even fit either of his criteria for making the A UF squad.
PS DANZIG SUCKS
I do have good news!
there will someday be a cure for Alzheimers!...
but there will never be a cure for how much Tate sucks.
"That's what I love about 4th grade girls..."
Wheelchairs, smeelchairs. Warren, none of us have forgotten how/where to
pick-up your younger sister. Let me clue you in. Conversation usually goes
Humpdy: "Hey fat girl are you ticklish, I'll even give you candy and
FG: <Fat Girl can't talk cuz she's got food in her mouth, but let me assure
you, she comes bouncing my way in no time>
Warren, I've also taken the liberty of forwarding your message to my close
personal friend, Glenn Danzig, who has assured me that he is planning to
send Satan after your mother to eat her soul. Your blanket statement that
Danzig sucks is perfect testimony to your simpleminded naivety. "How The
Gods Kill", dropped in 1992 (read: before your balls dropped), rewrote the
books on Sabbatherian doom metal, totally super charging the genre with
molten guitar god riffs, foreboding but poetic lyrics, and above the fray,
THAT VOICE. Glenn is a sonorious tenor blessed with the ability to caress
and terrorize all within a few short breaths. But despite all that history
and giftedness, as you brilliantly assessed, "Danzig sucks." Good point,
Tate, btw, brilliant move reserving Danzig 10th. Rich, you're going to have
to pull from an era other than the '70's and '80's (are you even aware of
any others?) to top that ace in the hole. I suggest reaching back to
Motzart or something catastrophic like that... but that would sort of be
like throwing pee in a rock, paper, scissors, fire competition. And most
people see that as cheating. But I say do whatever you need to do.
Anyway, back to this kid. I'm looking forward to watching you play, Warren.
You sound really good. I mean, based on your bold and witty attacks on us
Old Doods, I guess I can assume that you've got a backhand AND a forehand,
no? But if so, wouldn't you be captain or something by now? Anyway, I'm
sure both those crafty throws will come in real handy on saturday.
Good luck, tards.
-brandon "i've puked after more national championships than the number of
girls you've talked to while attending RPI" steets
So let's just pretend for a minute that the "youngins" do suck, and that we're not gonna school your oxygen tank sucking wheelchair shit stained asses. Who would you blame for that? The only place we learned how to do what we do, is from all you old incontinent farts. So if we do lose, it's only because you suck at "schooling" in the first place. So go ahead and try and "school" us or maybe even run a humor clinic, I don't think any of it's gonna do any good cause you suck too bad at it in the first place, and you're "schooling" skills are even worse. We'll probably get dumber just for hangin out with ya. I can't help but feel like the overall intelligence level on the field significantly drops when the alumni come home. Is that what happens when you get old? you become unintelligent and incoherent? I submit that it does. I'll just stay here in school and enjoy my youth for now, until next year, when I bring my mediocre heckling skills to the alumni team.
dood - you just lost 15-4.... i don't want to discourage you but please be
realistic. not only did we kick your ass on the field.... we then kicked
your ass at the party... is this freshman phil, who passed out in the
living room sat night? come on phil - if you are ready to pass out, at
least crawl off into the kitchen pantry or something... you can't expect a
room full of people with permanent markers to pass you by "just bc you took
your shoes off". you are just lucky that you didn't wake up with the words
"I'M GAY" written across your forehead. seriously.
yous got a lot of work to do if you if you plan to even make double digits
next year. in all honesty, i hope you do practice or something between now
and then bc it was actually kind of boring for us - maybe next year, with a
little work, you will actually give us a game.
big thanks to tina, fink, valentina and all the other f-house folks who
prepared a delicious meal and graciously hosted again this year. After the
disasters that occured last year - they invited us all back - which leads
me to believe they are either 1) very generous or 2) very stupid.
looking forward to next year- my predictions:
Old Doods 9-0
Linda, by the way: This phil fellow that you are
blasting was the one giving you a "sensual" massage on
I'd like to second the gratitude for all you guys and
girls for this weekend. You guys are saints to put up
with us. This is a great tradition we have and we're
really happy you guys have kept it going.
You youngins do put up with alot and we do appreciate
you still allowing us to come over and trash your
house, your skilz and just all around beating you at
everthing...except maybe your cooking skilz..To all
the frizb-house people and others that cooked..Thank
you for another memorable weekend. Its great to get
back together with all the old faces but it also good
to see that there is still some enthusiasm about the
team. The new guys put on a good show on the field
and I hope that helps keep the team together.
one last bit of advice from a old dood: "Do not eat
the yellow snow."
Thanks again for a fun weekend!
Sherry wasn't even there on friday, so unless a truckload of married women
showed up at the f-house during my blackout period, then i'm pretty sure it
was impossible that i was macking on married women this weekend. (please
strike me down if i was trying to slip moira any tongue.)
-mike "can't wait to t'row it in your wife after you get married" vogel
ps-- linda: "f-house" = brilliant.
pps-- hat-teams were actually chosen randomly both last year and this year
(except for a couple of exceptions, like keeping couples on the same team,
or not on the same team, or putting all the good people on tate's team this
ppps-- linda: i thought your suggestions about phil working out were going
to be related to his choice of wife-beating/body-displaying apparel. but
yes, i suppose he'll need to work out more in order to score next year
either way (points in a frisbee game, or with the sensual massages)
pppps-- yet another apology to all of the ladies (and their
boyfriends/husbands/oglers) that i violated over the weekend. not to
worry, though: i'm never drinking again. especially at trashgiving next year.
ppppps-- linda: do you wanna make out?
So i just like to send out a thanks on behalf of us young'n because
frisbee thanksgiving is one of the best traditions i've ever been
involved in. The reason its so good is we are lucky to have such an
incredibly kick ass group of alums who all love coming back hanging out
with each other and are willing to include us in it (really we
appreciate it more than you know). Now maybe you guys trash the place a
little but honestly not that much worse than other parties, and i can
tell you this is the only party that i know i can count on people being
there the next morning to help with the cleanup (thanks Jamie, Bower,
Pomper, Andy, and Dave). On top of all that thanks to some generous
alumi contributions the cost of food for us stayed reasonable and we
recovered the tourney fee that was stolen, and that was amazing and
unexpected. So thank you all for creating an event that i look forward
to every year. So take care and i'll see you all next year.
PS - also props for keeping the damage to the house at about half what
it was last year (does that mean you guys are mellowing out in your old
THis weekend was great. I had a blast. Big thanks to the actives for putting up with us drunk ass old doods. Bigger thanks to Pete and Meg for opening up there house to the 15 people who crashed there. Can't beleive I have to wait a full year till the next one.
I would like to of course thank the current players
for putting us up and throwing a kickass party for us
all to get massively loaded at.
Now, for a chance for us old doods to repay them. I
was approached by a current player who asked me to
write down a list of old school cheers for them.
apparently, whenever they are psyching themselves up
for a game, the most creative thing they have going is
yelling 1-2-3 trudge!!!! i have a list of some
cheers, including get in the ring, strike first,
strike hard...., and "pain does not exist in this
dojo..." but if you guys have any more in your
respective bags of tricks, send them to me and I will
compile a list to give to the young doods.
i can't imagine how they could have lost those badass
cheers, whoever was the captain before john must have
been a real douchebag.
hmmm... sounds like mike spaeth.
don't forget about handy post-game cheers on your list. my fav:
choose a person on the team to act as "the funny guy."
everyone stands in front of (blocking from view) the funny guy:
"you hucked against our manner,
you hucked against our zoner,
your moms is so fat,**
you gave this kid a boner."
**at this point in the cheer, everyone moves aside to expose (and point at)
the funny guy, who has a very obvious lump in the appropriate spot,
preferably from a banana stuffed down a pair of spandex pants (unless
you're tate and are comfortable with jerkin' up a legitimate boner and
whippin' it out for 15 strangers of mostly the same sex).
ps -- i want to thank everyone, young and old doods, for their attention
during this email. i really had an awesome time hitting the 'send'
button. can't wait to do it again next time!