Seth's First Frisbee Thanksgiving
Year: 2001 (6th Annual)
Organizers: Adam Poulos, Tom Russo, Tina Fink, Vogel (Friday Night)
Locations: F-House 2174 14th St. (Friday), Mike Shyu’s Place (Saturday Night)
Friday Night Party: Black Crap! Vogel’s Job Keg
Saturday Hat Games: None
Saturday Skilz Competition: None
Saturday Alumni Challenge Game: Old Doods 13 – Currents 9
In 2001, I was a freshman! I had my first taste of Guinness. I sat in Vogel’s Guinness Chair of Doom. I was frightened by all the old men and soon left the party. So frightened in fact, I didn’t even go to the dinner or festivities Saturday night. The Alumni scared and schooled upon us currents hard.... all weekend... multiple times. 1996 to 2000 were before my time. But I will share a few things that I know about these years. I know that the first FGiving involved the underclassmen to dress up like little kids for dinner on Saturday night. I know that FGiving 2000 FGiving was combined with Witch’s Teat and the Alumni did not lose a game. I know that there was lots of BBQs and Music and Pee and Nakedness. I also know that F-Giving is an amazing time to come together as the RPI Trudge family and kick some ass both at life and the great game of Ultimate Frizbar.
Famous Quotes and Trash Talk before F-Giving:
Sorry to stir up the pot after it appears that everyone has decided
the format. But I'm asking you to reach deep down inside to
whatever common sense you have left and think about what
Thanksgiving means to you.
What silly Alumni really wants to spend the day playing college
teams other than RPI? (Don't bother answering, idiot; I can see
your names on the Trudge Polls.) It makes no sense. Playing
college teams now is silly. You're supposed to beat college
teams, you moron, you've been playing 30 more years than they
have. If you want to play frisbee, join a team and enter a
tournament. And if you want to play at the college level, then go
be one of those weird old guys and try to join a practice at a
college team at a school near you.
What I'm talking about here is tradition… a tradition of ass
kicking that is "simple… yet brilliant." First we beat the freshman,
we beat the upperclassman, and then we have a few beers, eat
the good eats, get silly with people we haven't seen in a year,
and make fun of Steets' latest vegetarian con-cock-tion
(according to recent tests, he's totally gay in case you haven't
heard). See how simple? See how brilliant? Notice the total lack
of any complicated "Yeah, we beat a stoned Skidmore team,
again. Woo-hoo! And now everyone is tired after playing a full day
of Frisbee and the dinner is really gay because everyone is half
I beseech you Alumni and non-Alumni alike, keep a good thing
alive. Have the silly Witches Teat tournament on the 10-11th and
reserve your full energy for a decent Thanksgiving tradition of
lascivious debauchery on the 3rd. (Or reverse the weekends if
And if it gives you big nuts to play other college teams, then I'm
willing to totally nullify paragraph #2 and put together an Alumni
team for a separate Witches Teat. But, for goodness sake, keep
Thanksgiving sacred and devoid of any association with
I'm not sure of the other side of this argument, so if anyone from
the other side would like to enlighten us, please do so.
In conclusion, I ask you this; where does a king keep his
armies? In his sleevies.
Thank you and goodnight.
p.s. To people planning this event. Thanks for your efforts and
I'm sorry to make things potentially difficult for you. To keep it
easy, just go with what you are doing now. (Just get the damn
fields for both weekends by pretending we have two tourneys
and then just cancel the one we don't need.) If there is a huge
uprising to KEEP IT REAL, we'll worry about it then.
…I guess my bottom line is
the same as Tate's: it's wise that the current RPI players are
presently practicing sucking ass in preparation for the inevitable
smackdown. I only hope that they might finally find a single soul
who is capable of writing a single funny email.
and then you might asked spaeth-and-a-half who cheated during that
said game. no joke. spaeth was afraid we would embarrass them like
we embarrassed their zone. the game maybe even have been tied at
think of a fat turtle rolling back and forth on his back bobbling a
frisbee in its little turtle hands with its turtle asscrack
straddling the line.
tom: check your feet.
spaeth: i was in.
tom: what a prick.
what's good for tufts is good for spaeth-and-a-half.
pshhh yeah. Hey Neal, here's how that strategy talk would go:
Steeto: ...of course all of what I just told you only really applies if the average height of your team is 6'-6", like UCSB.
Neal: Umm, well since Reed Conrad left, our team height has dropped to 5'-5".
Steeto: Ok, thats fine. You'll just have to practice more. Like 3 hours a night all year round, like UCSB.
Neal: Umm, well the ground thaws in April and we get the ok for the field a week before sectionals.
Steeto: Ok, that fine. You'll be ok so long as your team is made up of a bunch of liberal arts hippies who dont have to spend any time studying and can play all day. Like UCSB.
Neal: Umm, well Steets are you stupid. Stop listening to your stupid hardcore music, you're not even straightedge anymore!
Steeto: Yeah, well you're Asian.
Now you'll all know why Neal will pound Brandon in November. I can't wait.
ladies and gentlemen, jeff chung came to play--that's
the chunger i remember.
last year i neglected my responsibility to contribute
to the rpi frisbee thanksgiving extravaganza, and then
promptly vowed i would not let it happen again. so
now, if it means a middle of the night flight with a
one thousand dollar pricetag on it, i'll be there. if
it's worse than that forget it, though.
oh yeah, and one other condition: i need to find a
job first. guess that gives me a month. i'll keep
you posted, but please understand that - to quote the
bald guy from top gun - "intentions are high."
oh yeah, and old guys--you need me, so pray i get a
job (maybe if i direct my trash this season at my
"teammates" it will be more interesting). young
fellas, pray i don't (oh ho yeah, trash just flows
through my veins and surges out my fingertips).
and oh yeah again, remember when jess made us all mad
by taking us off the pedistal? well you're an old guy
now, jess (if you're still on this list), so why don't
you pick up where we left off a year and a half ago
and be funny for us?
word to that. will report later,
Yes, thats right old dudes. The young dudes are hardcore. The young dudes mean business. The young dudes are gonna kick your ass. Thanksgiving '01: to the pain.
just letting you know i'll be coming to the whole extravaganze on the 3rd....
i'm bringing this dude pete, i hear he's ok at frisbee. i can also bring a 100%
homemade apple pie if you fancy that.
so hows life been?
This is creig. I'll be there to whoop some ass all
day. I will also be at the dinner with my girlfriend.
We are both veggies. I will be coming there in the
midst of a long road trip, so cooking a dish may be a
little complicated. I'd be happy to pick up some tasty
beverages or anything else like that, or just throw
you some cash. Let me know which. See ya there.
crieg a veggie? say it ain't so.... it almost takes the terminator outta the
pisser steets won't be there to see a "veggie craig". is this for freakin'
i remember, back in the day when we were all so young and some of you new
kids weren't even in college yet; there was a seagull, a frisbee and craig.
oh the torturous memories ... guess all the birds will be flying a little
bit easier knowing that there's one less frisbee aimed at their heads.
ok, for all of you who think i'm bitching ... shutup, craig knows i'm not.
it'll be good to see ya, dude. :)
oh, yeah, adam: i'll be there, but i bet you knew that already. i won't
have time to cook, but i can send a yummy, easy, veggie lasagna recipe your
way, if you like.
Look at me! I'm all growed up. I have a girlfriend and a beard and I'm all responsible because I have values and wipe my butt with leaves and live on a mountain... It's kind of fortunate that craig is a big silly pussy now 'cause reimer isn't going to be able to make craig-duty this year.
I am so pumped for Thanksgiving. Good games, good friends, good eats.
Oh yeah, Adam/Tom/Tina. As far as bringing something, I'll provide a bucket
of MARGARRRRRRITAS. That way I'll have a trusty bucket to puke in instead of
missing the toilet again.
and the trash begins....
as i have been reading the few emails going around about thanksgiving i have noticed that there is something missing. no one has been ripping on each other, so i am gonna take the liberty and start it off.
so we always talk about how the new dudes kick the crap outta the old dudes or vice versa. well allow me to breakdown the lineups so there is nothing to debate about.
first of all old guys have no steets and no reed, your only two players who play anymore and who play for teams good enough to make it to nationals. no more steeto to put u guys on his back and carry u to victory. gonna make it harder... sorry...
as for the rest:
rich sanda vs. adam poulos- both fantastic handlers with fantastic throws. but adam wins of course. he is faster, jumps higher, and can throw on the same level or better. (winner: Adam)
jim vs. tom - two quick deep threats both with girls who play or have played for the women's team. both like animals, both can read the disc like its nobody's business, but only one comes from conneticuit and only one ever caught a disc on his butt. (winner: Tom)
Matt Natale vs. Laura- hmm... ok i will leave that one alone.
Chung vs. Me- sorry chung, better luck next time... "i read all your books, i know all your tricks... i beat him before! i can beat him again!"
Craig...vs. 16 oz steak- hmmm craig's now a vegitarian, so our 16 oz takes that matchup...
Tate vs. Shyu - hmm... tate has his homebrew... shyu has his girlfriend and if she lets him come to our tournament shyu will school a druken or sober Tate any day. (winner: Shyu)
Big Spaeth vs. Andy- hmm quite a battle... could get a little heated... Andy might have to sit on Spaeth again... Andy (rumored disc golf champion), Spaeth (rumored to have a girlfriend)... Andy should come out on top in this match up, cause when will spaeth ever really have a girlfirend... (winner: Andy)
Bower vs. The Sophomores - sorry bower... no hugh jorgan to play with and betray your team. We have John, Alden, Little Spaeth, and others to sic on your running everywhere little ass... and that little wager we had in buffalo is still on... (winner: our sophomores)
Vogel vs. Vogel- hmm... is he an alumni? or is he a current player? tough question... does Phd transcend all? look for this one to be a closely fought battle... expect no 1st round knockout here... former x-country runner vs. former football superstar... former soccer player vs. former ultimate player... who will win, show up for thanksgiving and find out.... (winner: vogel)
Chrity and Sherri vs. Tina and Valentina- sorry older ladies, our girls are gonna run circles around your asses... (winner: new girls)
anybody forgot vs. our freshman- we may not have many freshman, but man can they play. consider yourselves beaten...
sooo.... after the matchups, its (8-0-1-1-1) 8 wins to the young guys, 1 win to the 16 oz, 1 battle i don't wanna touch, and 1 battle where both sides win... 0 wins to the old guys... well there u have it folks, the young guys will make history this thanksgiving and take all comers...
welcome back to school oldtimers....
oh neil--what a message! i read it and it becomes
clear to me that i saw this movie when i was a kid...
in fact, it excites me to feel your fiesty opposition,
'cause i know someday you'll join me. i say go ahead,
"Take your frisbee. Use it. I am unarmed. Strike me
down with it. Give in to your anger. With each passing
moment, you make yourself more my servant."
the problem w/your mail is that it leads me to believe
you think i'm gonna be there next week. if you had
known the truth, you would have lumped me in w/steets
and reed (what company) and left me alone--exulted me,
even. as it is, i haven't bought a ticket yet.
however, i can't really let you get away w/those
words, can i? adam, sorry if this scares you, but i'm
still considering making it out there for thissy here
rPI OLD DOOD ThanksGIVING EXXX-TRAVAGANZA!! (linda and
wong are responsible for the extra x's) oh ho,
man--why DON'T i ride this pumptUPedness down to the
local aeropuerto and buy myself a seat and SEE YOU
no, seriously--why DON'T i?
don't be mad at me, adam--be mad at neil.
oh yeah, and tate... what r u, crazy?
i'll have to admit it
NEver hAve i been more nervous about Losing
I waS discusing this eArlier with holmes
what the hell are we going to do without Brandon?
It's practicaly Game oVer, mAn. now neal's email is makinG me
realIze just how slim our chaNces Are going to be. my official stance
is tHat if wE lose the gAme, it's all because of the newley aquireD spaeth.
pure genius tate. pure sopping wet juicy genius. new dudes beware.
that;s right - wong and i will both be there with our triple xxxs
sanda - you won't miss it if you know what is good for you.
ok, this punk-ass bitch has slammed me in back-to-back years.
At 03:41 AM 11/3/00, Thomas Portwood wrote:
Vogel, is this when the funny email starts? I can't seem to find any in this
pile of shit.
At 04:50 PM 10/25/01, Thomas Portwood wrote:
oh vogel, your the most cleverest niftyest swell guy i know. . .
can i please get off this list before he says something else?
so the funny part is that i still don't have the slightest idea who this guy is...
who is this guy??
and i didn't start this-- why didn't anybody make fun of tate? or is that what andy did? did everybody catch that stuff? am i the only one that didn't see it? i guess my level of intellect just isn't quite on par with you other guys... but i was sooo proud of myself for noticing it. i was going to write a little code that would decipher these hidden messages and everything. but now that the cat's out of the bag, i guess i don't have to be so sneaky about saYing that yOU CAN ALL FUCK OFf. F
(was that too obvious with the Caps and everything?)
dude, i can't believe you have this guy's message from 1 year ago to
reference. that's awesome!
this is not funny
sorry about the not cute part, andy (haven't seen you
lately, though). i owe you one--on the field and on
the golf course.
Sent: 9/7/99 10:44:22 AM
From: Richard Sanda
Subject: (no subject)
dude--i went out to rpi this weekend. did the porch
scene over a keg of guiness for a few hours. then
came time to meet the matrix-watchers at the dcc and
play some golf.
i had heard tate claim that spaeth claimed that
"stupid" andy (formerly known as "cute" andy (i dont
think either one fits him)) was going to be better
than sanda. i had fun with that claim, just sorta
claiming that spaeth "didnt know" and betta "ax
enter midnight-thirty. crew includes poulos, spaeth,
ben g., mike "eddie" bower, myself, andy, and reed. i
was a little excited to see what the hype was about.
i had good pulls most of the night. i reached out
disc in hand to touch the green building door for the
birdie. then i stood back and watched as from 100+
feet away andy forehanded the disc through the door.
he was all forehand, pulls and everything.
two more times that night andy hit forehands from that
far away. he got an eagle on the 8th (lamppost next
to the library), and a long birdie on the cellar stair
hole. he was -5 at the break, i was even. poulos was
somewhere in between.
so on to the back 9, where i got off to a good start.
an easy birdie on the 10th, and a lofty inside out
backhand for an eagle on the 11th. the gap shrank for
the rest of the night, down to the last hole, where
poulos and i stood on the wind tunnel ready to pull
with -6 each, andy with -7.
poulos disappeared on the pull. i was right where i
wanted to be with the birdie attempt. missed it by a
mile. i had to get lucky. andy had the three pronged
tree in the way of his par throw, which he missed, and
i barely nicked the flagpole to keep par. tie game,
on to the atm. i landed my second throw in the middle
of the street--water. but down to the wire i got
lucky again that andys throw was partially obstructed
as he barely missed another opportunity to close the
onto play the course in sudden death mode.
unfortunately for me, andy birdied the first hole, i
didn't, he won. impressive.
nice. hope my story was ok.
reed, stop letting your mom write your trash talk for you.
You are a moron. No! You are a moron. Good one, guys. Once again, I move to
cut the alumni team off about 2 years ago due to the exponential decrease in
humor over that time period.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my firm belief that the new dudes are
going to beat the old dudes.
By the way, remember the Jive email maker... here's a little something else
for you. Maybe it will make the new dudes email actualy worth reading. Try
it please. Thanks. I bet it will be wicked funny after the 20th person does
You are a motherfucking moron. You are a pussy. No motherfucking! You and
your jive are a fuckin' moron. GOOD one, fucking assholes. Once again, I
move to cut the fucking alumni team off about 2 years ago due to the fucking
exponential decrease in humor over that time period. Caw caw! The ravens are
singing, you are a shitbag.
Also (in addition to the fact that you're a bastard), I would just like to
fuckin' reiterate my fucking firm belief that the fucking piece of shit new
shit-ass assholes are going to fuckin' beat the fucking old oozing assholes.
By the fucking way, remember the fucking Jive jizz maker... here's a
fuckin' little something else for you. Maybe that shit will make the
fucking piece of shit new oozing assholes jizz actualy worth reading. Wanna
burn? Try that shit please. Burn in HELL. You've got a asscrack with my
name on it. I bet that shit will be wicked funny after the fucking 20th
person does that piece of shit. I should cram your porkhole.
Lame? I think not. I think you are afraid. Afraid of me because for
you I have become the most subtle creature of all: a civilized evil,
genteel and seductive. An evil that causes you to question the very
definitions of your identity, that blurs the line between dark and light
until you're no longer sure which is which, or how the two are divided.
You cower in fear of the young dudes and know not how your asses will be
Jonathan "The Beast" Ganz
[trudge] you're right.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my firm belief that the new dudes are
going to beat the old dudes.
you're right. (although your words show, as always, wisdom beyond your
years, reading them reminds me of Laura when, eyes slightly downcast, she
murmurs to no one in particular "that makes me sad.")
Was it mentioned that Neal runs marathons now? You're so screwed.
..since the electric air of challenge has been sucked out of the alumni vs
current-team squabble like too many fleas on a struggling dog by Tate's
circus-freak-like-gypsy-woman-premonitions, let's focus for a moment on
the dinner .. and the very real possibility of TWO Koenigs at the
same table. Oh yes. The older, with the dominating height and proven
skills..and the younger, a condensed version .. a Koenig built to drink
with the best of them. I've got matched drinking mason jars screaming
challenge. And as long as we're cheering on the other side, I lay all
bets on Fritz from starting earlier, to drinking and eating harder, to out
jockeying for precious elbow position on the tiled battle field of liquid
laughs - EASILY out classing the younger at every stage. Mark may out
cut him on the field though. I don't think he's been playing much since
scaring the guys who play pick-up at work.
..oh yeah, and there's the Spaeths as well. Neither can really drink so
that might be interesting. I always enjoy drinking with them though.
Burping bits. I don't want to talk about their bodies.
Marc "there's not a dude in Ultimate can cover me" Reimer wrote:
All this trash talking really takes me back. Its a shame I won't be
there to make all the new guys eat their words.
all day...Marc Reimer
yo WHATEVER. just keep hiding out in whatever hole you disappeared to.
Was he EVER as good as he talks himself up to be? I wish you'd come
back and refresh my foggy memory. If you lost the suit you might show
some of our new guys something. Freshmen year all I ever heard was,
"yeah, Reimer, he's small but he used to be able to JUMP." Nothin but
respectful memories - but talking trash as you bow out.. come on, if it's
sleeping on the floor you can't handle, we'll find you a cot. Hope to see
you next year. It'll give you some time to get back in shape.
ps- If there aren't any objections, I think Tom and I are going to hack
together a new email list for people who are making some type of showing
on Saturday to keep the rest of you from being spammed. I feel bad for
people like Dave Bang who probably haven't checked their email since this
all started. If you stop getting emails and want to get added or think
you're going but never sent me an email in the first place so aren't on
the list, get in touch.
pps- sorry about the delay, I think we have all the names now so I'll get
out a list of who's going and who should bring what.
so making a New email list is as annOying as Tate after 1 too many. iF
yoU didN't waNt to see it, You should have uNsubscribed. emAil tom
or mister shwaah if you want off of one of the lists. maKing a new Email
list was a Dumn idea. it's just not going to happen.
It looks like we'll have just enough for an alumni team, an old person
team, and a new person team. The lines are a little blurry this year but
I bet you can guess what team you're on. WE know what team you're on. I
feel like Judge Dred. I'm still trying to get in touch with some
new people (see way below), so I can't give an exact list of who will be
on the new person team. I bet you recognize most everyone on the old team
though with the exception of Tina and Valentina who have opted to play on
the young dude's team. Hopefully you can make an educated guess off of
the list below as to who will be on what team.
We'd like to start up the first game by 10am on Saturday. Games to 15
unless you can't handle it. Dinner will be at 7pm at Mike Shyu's place.
I don't know the street address yet, but it's on 15th st right near the
intersection of where 15th crosses with the street that comes down
from the fieldhouse. If you go across the street from the firehouse and
up onto 15th, it's like 4 doors on the left. Someone will get the address
out soon with a phone number. If you have any type of major addition to
the dinner (we have what everyone is bringing, it's just a matter of
getting in touch with you), try to have it there by 6:45pm or
(preferably) earlier. Appetizers like veggies and crackers will
make an appearance sometime between 6 and 6:30pm.
We have 4 apartments worth of floor and couch space and I'm sure we could
dig up some more if we had to:
Laura, Mike V, and Nicole's place:
2174 14th St.
Tina, Valentina, Jon, and Alden's place:
15th St down past the Laundromat
Adam, Andy, and Tom's place:
2220 12th st right next to Pike's
Ben G/Kate: 518-? more info later.
We have ~44 people for dinner give or take 5.
So far I have (sorry for any mispellings):
Alegra (back from where?)
Ben G and Kate (I'll call her Kate)
Craig and Kate (I'll call HER Kate too)
Woody (? ..bring wine if you're coming)
Mike Bower and Kate
Dave Pomper and Heather (potato-kale soup)
Maura (did you get a ride?)
Dave Ross (hiking up from COOP)
Alicia Shultz (should play with the old guys, may just come and heckle)
Joe Sochet (miss thanksgiving? pfffft)
Laura K and Gregory Kate Sanda
Mike Shyu and Helen
Jon Fink (current field Captain w/Neal)
Valentina (playing with the new guys so that she can school Laura and
Tina (playing with the new guys for same reason)
there are a few unknowns (get in touch) and a few who will be playing but
not coming to dinner and vice versa. If you already sent me an email and
are on this list, send me another? thanks..
Seth (last name? the one who comes to practice and tournaments.. you
Rolf Boone (wearing shiny clothing and acting very busy last time I saw
John Ganz (still The Beast.. aren't you taking like 4 tests that day?)
Ariel (came up with that AWESOME disc design.. when is that coming out?
..also messed up his ACL which SUCKS)
Adam Dyer (smack talking, disc playing.. you should come and have a good
Colin (playing, but not dinner)
Dave August (you should come!)
The David who came a couple times with Leah (you should come!)
Alicia Dunne (still rocking out way South.. back for xmas?)
Chris Ruiz (playing a lot of quality Ultimate while a broad in Australia
.. will be back in the Spring)
whatever happened to Paul? Is he going to come and DJ for our home
tournament this year? Is he famously wealthy somewhere bright and sunny?
Does he need someone to clean his pool for him?
oh man, we had a bad record but a great time at Swamp Thing on Saturday.
There was this one field that had patches of RIDICULOUSLY soft
sand/dirt that were like designated layout zones. I tried to hurt myself
in one and couldn't. I don't want to steal Neal's thunder though, so I'll
leave it at that.
National Enquirer Section
The Rumor-Mill, fueled by crazy talk from at least one of two unnamed
individuals who BOTH have the name "tina" in their own names, has been
churning with talk of foul play to throw a game come tournament time.
This author will leave his opinion out of it, but if it was up to ME, any
such mischief should be swiftly punished by sending the perps to a
rat infested jail with big scary rats or AT LEAST locking them up in that
scary wooden screaned-in cage in my dungeon of a basement for an
indefinite period of time for a blatant spirit of the game foul.
Although.. there was some talk of good bribes going around. hmm..
Alright, girls. I've got plenty of info/trash to pass along, so perk up.
Get ready for black crap! Friday night-- I've already passed along this
info to (I think all) alums about this friday night, but here's an
invitation to everyone else associated with RPI frisbee (directly and maybe
not so directly; bring a friend or two if they're fun)-- Party at our place,
2174 14th St. This is a bit of a welcome home/pre-Thanksgiving shindig.
And, perhaps more importantly, it's a party 27 years in the making, not one
to miss: my job keg(s). We'll have munchies and sodas and kegs of Guinness
and Bass. So come ready to consume whatever sounds good to you. Hopefully
there might be a little leftover to suck on saturday afternoon and evening,
but i can make no promises. So get it while it's still on tap. I think I
might get the kegs quite early in the afternoon, but that depends on when
alums start rolling into town. So if you're a young dude trying to decide
if it's too early to be drinking: it's probably not, so you should feel free
to come on over (just give a ring or something first). Also, odds of having
a BBQ in the evening or maybe throughout the night or nonzero. So think
about that, too. There might be room on the grill for you to slap your meat
(and PS on that-- if anyone has been dying to have a job jeg, the keg of
Bass is not 100% financially spoken for at the moment. i'm currently
debating between sucking it up myself vs soliciting for contributions. but
if you're into that sort of thing, or would like to have just half or some
other portion of it in your name, then let me know.)
I hear a rumor that the format has changed for saturday's games. instead
of having 3 slaughterings of games, i hear things are getting mixed up this
year: something about the day starting off with a bit of a hat tourney--
totally random creation of 4 teams (somewhat equal numbers of
alums/yungins/men/women/sheep on each team). Those 4 teams do a simple 4
team bracket (the 4 teams pair off against each other in the first round,
then the second round is winners vs winners for the championship and losers
vs losers for the loser-ship). So you see, there's a bit of competitive/fun
play involved. And people get mixed up with each other so there's some
bonding-- maybe some young kids might learn a thing or two about humor from
the alums, or MAYBE, just maybe, they might even learn how to actually throw
a forehand BEFORE: round #3, baby-- it all comes down to one game, winner
takes all. Everyone reassembles back on the team they travelled all this way
to play for; the team they were destined to play for. All alums on one
team. All Current RPI players on the other team. No more pussy-footing
around with splitting a bad team into two worse teams. No more crying later
about how "we would have beaten the alums if we had that one awesome
freshman." No, pansies. No more excuses. Give us everything you've got--
we'll be ready: Alumni -VS- Current. Be ready to cry yourself to sleep,
but be aware that this time it won't be because your
football-player-roommate keeps making you bend over to pick up the bar of
(and PS on that-- specifics of the hat tourney format may be decided later.
but the day will certainly end with the Current dudes get their
holy-moley-asses WHOOPED. and on an unrelated note, whoever brings the
coolest hat to draw names out of gets something extra-special. like
all-you-can-drink beer on friday, maybe. we'll see about that.)
It's been drawn to my attention (by a very smart, lovely woman
(awwwww......)) that perhaps the reason the trash-talking has been minimal
is that the generation gap is expanding. Perhaps alums and current players
are at a loss because they don't really know who they're insulting anymore.
So my first point is: does it really matter? I was always taught that it's
not any fun until someone sheds some tears. Puh-lease: we're nowhere near
that point yet. But nonetheless, this brings me to the second point. The
following is the handy Mike-Vogel-mini-guide-to-dirt-on-people (ammo, or
fuel for your fire, if you will) for each side on this battle, so listen up,
walk away with what suits you, and let's get this trashing rolling again:
3(a). (FOR CURRENT PLAYERS: fritz runs around wearing dresses all the time
(there have been a few sightings of him in transvestite bars); craig ends up
under random porches and gets escorted home by cops when he drinks too much;
Maura has three nipples; the alum team is crawling with vegetarians-- go
ahead, they're always easy to make jokes about and mash turkey in their
faces (not recommended); pomper will curse up a mile-long trail if something
doesn't go his way; brandon likes to hit on girls at the all-sport Bar that
can't even legally drive a car yet; fruity stu... 'nuf said, i suppose;
Benny G is a mad one-handed-catching machine (perhaps the reason we always
yell 'two hands!' these days)(he can still sky your ass though, in case you
was wonderin); tate gets naked and spits all over himself when he drinks;
Irene Wong wears Wonderwoman underoos to this day; mike spaeth runs around
dressed like superman with his package clearly visible in tight underwear
(Mr konieczny claims that you can tell whether he's circumcised or not); Jim
Holmes' middle name is "Urkel")
3(b). (FOR ALUMS: we have younger brothers out in force (little brian spaeth
and little Mark koenig) which should be easy enough to bash; tina and
valenTINA-- one's always hanging out at the ASS-end of the other one... 'nuf
said, i suppose; tom russo knows Pi to 135 digits; adam's mom is so ugly,
she made an onion cry; tina and valentina are always finding jon fink
(captain) and alden's crusty tighty-whities in the other guy's room; andy
likes to bump fuzzies with adam's mom; thomas portwood-- i hear he writes
funny emails; valentina likes to get on tables and dance for scores of horny
slobbering boys when she drinks too much; neal (captain) likes to take duct
tape and break into people's rooms while they're masturbating; Colin is the
one that keeps spotting Fritz in the transvestite bar, although he keeps
claiming it's all legit...)
So there you go. Please don't let my efforts be in vain. Take any of these
verified facts and use them as the kindling of your next rage-mail... Maybe
I'll bust out a favorite poem of mine in a few days to keep things
- Summary: come to our place friday for a party. Young guys suck and
will be ass-whooped on saturday.
cha cha cha
in lieu of trash talk: (sorry if this one is too long also, but if you read
it, you might get a little insight into the mind of Mike Vogel)
i was sitting on the toilet today, and i suddenly had a flashback to this
memory that's been hidden for most of my life:
it's third grade, and my next oldest brother (steve) is in fifth grade. we
just moved to ohio a few months earlier, so we're still trying to fit in at
our first catholic school...
the memory is still a little vague, but steve apparently had this really
bad case of diarrhea. like the uncontrollable, funny-colored, squirtin
every couple of minutes, coming out like a missile-launcher variety.
and of course my mom doesn't want any of us to miss school since we're
pretty new here. so... here comes the crystal-clear-memory part... i can
see him in his light blue uniform shirt... and then my mom, yeah, my mom
has taken several layers of aluminum foil-- ALUMINUM FOIL!!-- say around 2
feet by 2 feet, but not smooth like it just came out of the box; no, more
like kind of crumpled up a lot and then half-assed spread back
out. anyway, she's made this aluminum foil creation... basically a mold
of my brother's ass and butt-cheeks, so he can wear it and it'll catch a
mess in case of an emergency. so he puts this aluminum foil on in front of
me. and then she makes him put on his tighty-whities over the aluminum
foil (pause and picture that...). and then the dark blue dress slacks to
cover everything up. but the foil is really sticking out all over the
place, and when he walks around, you can really hear that this kid is
wearing a pair of aluminum foil!!
anyway, i remember she made another similar contraption for him so that if
it got really messy (i distinctly recall her describing how to use it)
he could hold the second contraption under his ass while he was running
down the hall to the bathroom.
can you imagine running down the grade-school hallway, crapping your brains
out, wearing aluminum foil underwear, but still leaking shit down the side
of your leg, holding a huge pan of aluminum foil under your ass?!?!? what
the hell kind of mom is that??? and we all wonder why he turned out to be
the black sheep of the family...
but my memory gets hazy again right there. i'm sure he had a note to the
teacher as well explaining (in full, gory detail) the whole situation, but
i don't even remember how the whole thing 'panned' out.
anyway, it was very therapeutic just to share this with everyone. thanks
for listening. (and if you're dying for trash talk, then ANDY=Aluminum uNDY)
alL this talk about vogel's penis has made him an insecUre little bastard.
he's running around the apartMent whipping it out left aNd right asking
laura and myself for our opInions (don't worry christie, we're scared, not
looking) "is it REALLY that short? a derringer is an awfully small weapon,
but it has girtH, that's A good thing, right?" "is it really purple? i
would call this shade more magenta, or mauVe Even." "is thiS 3 inch
laceration froM the ALuminum foiL really all that noticeable? ok, who am i
kidding, only 2 inches."
i'm sure vogel isn't the only one with a famous Penis. i've hEard a few
stories about tate's peNis, or should i say casper? "the friendly penis"?
It's so ghost-like, doeS that mean it's basically non-existent? wow, tatE
acts like such a man meerly to protect the manhood that he lacks. i guess
kicking him in the crotch will be pretty ineffective this weekend. we'll
juSt have to kick his ass in frisbee!
you guys have fun drinking beer and whipping out your 1 inch cartoon
characters on friday. we'll be ready to school your asses come saturday.
no team of dicks is going to screw us this weekend!!
EAT THAT, COCK-SUCKERS!!!!
I seem to remember this little tourney in Skidmore in
which Tate decided to cheer the St. Lawerence men's
team wearing a little red leather g-string, I think
his mom had bought it for him or something. Anyway, I
later overheard the other team saying how small Tate's
package was, and the funny thing is, he had even
stuffed it with a sock! Poor Tate..., or should I
say, poor Maura!
Wow, Valentina! That's the quickest come-around I've ever seen: the last time I saw you (at 2:30 am), you were half-passed-out-on-the-kitchen-floor/half-puking-into-a-large-cooking-pot. Then at 3:46 am, you're trash talkin like there's no tomorrow!!
I'm not buyin it. Tom, you can write emails for your girlfriend all you want, but that doesn't mean you'll be able to play for her on saturday. but be sure to come out and watch my vegetarian, cat-loving girlfriend spank the shit out of your young, sweet, sexy (oops, shit)-- i mean-- SKANKY, lap-dancin, prostitutin girlfriend's shit.
on a sidenote, i want to point out that y'all have been doing a great job of making fun of my penis, but not a SINGLE TIME yet has anyone disputed the fact that i've got the girthiest, fattest-ass wang out there. wait... are y'all calling me fat????!?!!??
Hey remember back in the day
I remember when we were at a tourney at Dartmouth, and Steets Played for the B team to help us out a bit. . . and we were playing some high school team none the less, and they hucked it and Steets got skied by some high school kid, then we through him in the mud.
And Tate showed me the coolest trick last year with my fridge. I was pretty amazed that a drunken Tate could do such a thing. Perhaps you could show all the new freshmen this year with out knocking over my fridge too.
And in Montreal, Jim Holmes with his dog kick D block.
Most memorable was the Thanksgiving games that we would play. They would be spectacular! Games that could go on forever, everyone so pumped. It was a great moment in time, all of them. But this year is going to be extra special!! Why so special? Its cause the alumni are really seriously threatened. I’m wondering who they have on their team that still got game. And for this younger team, whether it be current playas vs. alumni or new heads vs. upper classmen vs. alumni, I gotta put my money with the upperclassmen. This years gonna be special cause we’re gonna kick the new heads ass. . . no doubt. . . and then after we’re done with dem. . . we’re going after the main course. . .
Perhaps one of the things I remember most was how, then bus driver, Mr. Holmes told us youngin’s back in the day, to hop on the bus, cause he’s taken us to school. . . Well Mr. Holmes. The students has become the teacher. And this weekend, classes are open. And my teammates and I gladly open our school to you alumni and newbies as well. . . So come to school on sat with your other friends and let us old dudes teach you alumn’s a new thing or two about the game. . .
Alright, just a few last minute items:
First, Yung dudes still suck DILLLLLLLLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
Second, I'd like to proudly pass on the news that the "Pre-Thanksgiving Soiree/Vogel's Job Keg(s)" is now officially the "Pre-Thanksgiving Soiree/Vogel-and-Fritz's Job Kegs". It seems that Fritz has always been a little bitter about not being able to have an official job keg. Also, I should be getting home (2174 14th St) around 7:00 with the keg of Guinness and the keg of Bass and maybe a little secret keg of something else...
Third, contrary to popular belief, I actually do have a job lined up for when i officially graduate in a couple of months, so you can all kiss my ass. And it really is a real job even though it's still at a university, so you can kiss my ass again. And before you all start in on him, Fritz actually has a job too, so while you're at it, why don't you kiss his ass, too.
Fourth, also contrary to popular belief, I carved that Guinness pumpkin. I'm gonna light the bitch up when we tap the keg and then smash the shit out of it when the keg is kicked. I do hope you'll all join in.
Fifth and finally, here's what Jim was alluding to before. Linda's poem certainly reminded me of this gem, first sent out two years ago:
A poem [modified for 2001 (The year the Yungs stillll suck ass)]:
I IU IDU IUPU IOWNU IWORKU ITRASHU ISCHOOLU IDESTROYU IDIARRHEAU IELIMINATEU IOBLITERATEU IEXTERMINATEU IPREPONDERATEU ISHOULDCRAMYOURPORKHOLEU IINDOCTRINATEU IDISREPUTATEU IANNIHILATEU IERADICATEU IDOMINATEU ICONTROLU IMASTERU IWASTEU IRUINU IWASU IDOU IOU IU I
thanksgiving summary (for those not there)
congrats on nationals steets and reed. awesome that u guys were even there. as for thanksgiving wknd, there was fun left and right. alumni started to show up on fri and we got things kicked off with a little vogel and fritz keg party of guiness and bass. people had a blast and i head big spaeth passed out on the toilet and puked a little in the bathroom...
sat morning we started things of with a hat tourney. played a little round robin, gave everyone a chance to play everyone. then the real fun began. the much awaited old vs. new game. the old fogies busted out their new wifebeater uniforms, complete with coffe stains, and the young guys came ready to dethrone the old guys for the first time in the history of the thanksgiving spirit.
old guys pulled to new guys. newbies worked it up field only to drop it somewhere along the way. old dudes pick it up and start to work it, but its turned and new guys take advantage. some patient throwing and great cutting and it is soon 1-0 newbies. old guys answer back, disc got turned once or twice by both sides and i believe they scored on a huck by spaeth to natale. so soon is was 1-1. Old guys new they couldn't run with the young guys so they threw zone most of the game. The first few points were heated, people making great d's and great plays. pretty soon it was 4-4. Then the young guys went on a run and before you knew it it was 6-5 new guys, poised to take it to half. I believe we even forced a turn and worked it to right in front of the endzone, where we had an unfortunate throw and turned it over in the end zone. Old guys capitalized and quickly tied it up at 6-6. This next point was probably the longest of the game. probably lasted 20-30 mins. both teams would work it up and down the field, then a great d or missed throw would turn things over to the other team. people were dogging out there but everyone knew what was on stake and neither team was willing to give. Then after the disc changing possesion at least 5-6 times, the old dudes capitalized and scored to end the long point and take it to half.
at half time something happened. the old guys i speculate, being sneaky and fearing losing for the first time, snuck over to our sideline and slipped something into our water... some sort of butterfingers potion, that caused the young dudes to start to drop the disc and turn it over right as they were about to score... very sneaky by the old guys. guess that is what makes them older and wiser.
so second half, it took the young guys a while to score and by the time they did it was 10-7. There was a controversial call when shyu claimed the disc bounced off his hand and not the ground... after later reviewing the tape, he was proven correct, and the old guys were just whining. but pretty soon the tide had turned and the old guys found themselves up 11-9. The young guys put on a valaint effort, but in the end, we fell 13-9. i blame the stuff the old guys slipped in the water at half time.
so that was that. great time, great ultimate. dinner afterwards at shyu's was a great success. i think on the wknd, there were about 36 people give or take and we consumed around 45 gallons of alcohol. its rumored that at least one person threw up each night of the wknd. some druken frisbee golf ensused sat night, with about 20 people playing. Tate took that opportunity to stand up by the green building and huck a disc right into nicole's face, who was standing next to the green building.
so that's that. we have a great video thanks to moira, and some great photos from the wong's boyfriend i think. so that is the end of the recap to the wknd that most of you were there anyways and are probably pissed off at me for taking up your time with such a long retelling of events that you had already participated in... but Reed wanted details...
our tourney is this wknd. look for RPI to be there in full force for once and rock the house...